I feel better

I met my OB today for the first time. Dr. L. is so amazing! She is gentle, friendly, knowledgeable and she just gets "it"! She spoke to me in such a calm way that I felt reassured. Unfortunately I'm not far enough along at 10 weeks to hear the heart beat despite her amazing effort at trying. She said that this is normal and that I shouldn't be alarmed. I was quite upset though. I'm so worried that I'm going to miscarry again. To reassure me, Dr. L. is sending me for an ultrasound just to make sure that everything is ok. She hopes this will settle my nerves and make me feel better. I love that! She didn't have to do that but she obviously understands how stressful the whole pregnancy journey can be.

So many of you have left me nice comments and have tried to make me feel better. I promise to do my best to think positively from here on in until I have reason to feel scared and nervous. And that's not going to happen! I appreciate all your support. It means the world to me...Thank you!

Tomorrow is my first appointment

I look forward to it with mixed emotions. I am so nervous!!! Unfortunately my husband can't come with me, he has to work and can't take any time off. He exhausted all his sick days with my last pregnancy. When I called to change the appointment the nurse said that it would be fine. She said that Mike wouldn't miss anything and that if he was going to take an unpaid sick day, to wait until our 18 week ultrasound. Mike is totally ok with that. I thought I was too until I found myself blubbering like an idiot this afternoon at the thought of going by myself tomorrow. I shouldn't worry about it but I keep thinking about the last time I went to see an OB. That day will always remain in my head. That was the day that I was told that my baby had failed to grow and that I was having a miscarriage. What happens if things go wrong tomorrow? What if I get the same news? What will I do by myself?

Please pray for me and our baby. I pray that everything goes fine and I walk away with some great news or at the very least, a sense of well-being.

It's ok...

I have some great friends. I love that they will read what I write and reassure me that everything is ok. I have used their advice to give myself time to relax, to not feel bad when I can't do anything but lay there, or when I need to complain that I feel like crap. It's ok. Thank you!

I did manage to get going a little bit this weekend. Mike and I painted our bedroom on Friday and Saturday. I HATE THE COLOUR!!! I can't wait to repaint it. It changes colours during the day. I can tolerate it in the morning but by bedtime it's this awful minty green colour. Very wrong in my world!

Yesterday Mike and I ventured to IKEA to buy some curtains for our place. I washed and shrunk my living room curtains. It has been a nice weekend. I love spending time with my man. I did have 2 of the worst days so far for morning sickness so I've given myself permission to relax today. It's ok!

I think I'm going to have a nap....

What a long summer this has been....

Wow! I'm not really good at his blogging thing. I guess I just figured my life isn't very exciting. All I do anymore is sit on the couch trying to muster up enough energy to do anything! I shower, sit, brush my teeth, sit and rest, eat, sit, my day is long and boring. I worry what I might be like when I'm further along! Thank goodness Mike is amazing and patient with me. I love him!

We are going to paint our bedroom this weekend. I am excited for that. Our bedroom is going to look so good! I don't think I'm a fabulous decorator but this is my first place so it's exciting to design.

I discovered that my clothes are starting to get smaller. I went to a maternity shop the other day looking for some shorts. I was nervous. I figured I didn't deserve to wear maternity clothes yet because I'm only 8 weeks along. I thought I would feel awkward but believe it or not, I wasn't the only newly preggo person in there! I felt comfortable and like I belonged. I managed to find 3 pairs of shorts for $40. Can't beat that! And, best of all, they are SOOOOO comfortable. I can actually wear them over my belly. It's the best feeling in the world!

I went for my first ultrasound yesterday. Man, I was a ball of nerves. I was on the verge of tears (nothing new) the whole time. I just wanted to see a blob and a flash (aka a baby and a heartbeat). I didn't feel this was too much to ask for considering what we have been through already this year.

So, I managed to drink 3.5 of the 5 glasses of water and guess what? Morning sickness kicked in just as I was walking out the door. I then spent the trip there guzzling 3.5 more glasses of water. I HATE WATER! By the time I get there I am feeling really bloated and dancing a little bit. M. was with me so he was my calm. Thank goodness! Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. The tech took me back and gave me the talk...I can't tell you anything. I'm not a radiologist so I'm not allowed to give you a picture or any details. Your husband can't come in. I'm telling you this so you don't think anything is wrong, I just can't tell you ANYTHING!!! My heart sank. A tear even trickled down my cheek. I did everything in my power to be able to see something. I have never actually seen an ultrasound that showed anything so I didn't really know what I was looking for but it didn't matter. She pulled the monitor closer to her and I couldn't see anything. So, my last resort, her glasses. I stared deep into her eyes but all I could see was black and blue. She caught me staring at her. I admitted it and she laughed. That's the moment she became a mother! She then explained to me that she was done, that I was her last patient, she was going on holidays and was feeling generous. She went and got M. and showed us the most adorable, cutest little blob with a flashy little heartbeat that I've ever seen!!! I love that lady!!!

So yes, I'm on cloud nine! I have a baby growing inside me and now it's my mission to keep him/her there. I love the LoveBug!

I'm out for the count....

or at least that's how I feel! This baby has got me whipped!!!! Already at 7 weeks! For the last week I have done nothing but work on my couch potato skills, well that's not exactly true, I've been sharing my time equally between the bed and the couch....equal opportunity! And, praying to the Gods that live in the sewers. With each flush I have prayed that my LoveBug is healthy, happy and enjoying stressing me out already!

I went for a doctor's appointment today. I begged for an ultrasound. I have just one wish right now, to see a heartbeat. I have been pregnant 2 times now and have yet to see anything that didn't resemble an empty jelly bean. So, my fabulous doctor made my wishes come true. I am going on Tuesday. I cried... Did I mention I'm emotional? Right there, in the office, I cried! For an ultrasound!! Well I guess I'm not afraid to use my "Mom Power". Doc also thinks I'm having a girl, he says there's just too much estrogen going on for me not to be....

To those few loyal readers that I have, I promise to try harder. I promise to try to write more often. I know one day I will regret it if I don't. Besides, I'd hate to upset the masses...I might cry!

I am sick!

That wonderful pregnancy glow is taking over. Actually it might be the fever I feel I have. My face feels like it's going to explode. I feel like crap! I'm one of those people that tries to avoid any sinus pain and pressure but I can't take anything now and I am not coping! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated....